Holy Crap! (And our first wedding-induced fight.)

We've hit the big 1-0-0 mark on the countdown.

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Okay, I'm officially freaking out.

To make matters worse, Mr. Lab and I have been fighting. And it's about something that we should not even be arguing about: the "need" for a wedding cinematographer.

It's a long story and I won't get into the specifics. We've finally come to a compromise and I don't want to open up any fresh wounds. But boy was it exhausting. He basically didn't see any reason to have a wedding film made, no matter the cost, because he-along with the backup of some of his recently married guy friends-felt like the film would never be viewed; thus, making it worthless.

To me, having a wedding cinematographer ranks up in the top 3 most important things to have on the day of the wedding. I didn't care what it costs (of course I'll go for the cheapest option I can while maintaining high quality of work). It's our one day that we've (read: ME) been planning for nearly a year and I wanted every moment captured on film to cherish for as long as we live. It's about having a record of our day for not just us, but also friends and family and the future family he and I will create one day.

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But once I began researching cinematographers in our area, I realized quickly that the east coast is lagging behind on people trained in this emerging wedding must-have. I get that there are options to have friends film for you or to find someone on Craigslist. But I'm a journalism student who works with a camera daily, so I have a higher standard than most when it comes to shooting and editing a "story". I also want to avoid any potential for regret due to hiring an amateur. Because of this, people who fit my standards ended up on the higher end of the price spectrum. This didn't sit pretty with Mr. Lab despite the fact that these options technically still fit within our predetermined budget.

In the end, we had a long talk a couple nights ago and finally reached a compromise.

Even though these cinematographers I found fit within our budget, I could still find ways to cut back in other areas to save money further to make the cinematographer "cost less". I could also continue my search for more affordable cinematographers before putting down a deposit without truly taking time to think over the options. Mr. Lab realized how much it means to me to have a wedding film and I realized how much it meant to him that we didn't spend out the butt for it just because we could (within our budget).

So I'm currently in contact with my photographer to cut a few options out of our package (like the rehearsal dinner coverage and bridal portrait session). And I'm going to put up ad on Craigslist just to see if there might be some very talented SCAD students who can fulfill my high expectations without draining our wallets.

But we also decided that if I can't find someone by the end of the weekend, we will go with one of the cinematographers I've already found because time is a-tickin'. Many options have already been booked for our day. It's now or never!

I can finally sit back and enjoy our 100-day mark with a little less stress weighing down on me. *ahhhh*

I guess this is what the whole "marriage" thing is about, huh? Compromise is a beautiful thing.

Frontin'.

Yeah, that's right. I've been strutting around in the wedding blogging world like I actually have something to blog about. But in all actuality, my wedding plans are just that: plans.

I originally intended to share this post about my budget AFTER the wedding. But after much contemplation, I decided now is better than ever.

I'm broke.

This is a straight pity post so feel free to stop reading at any point. No, seriously. The following is nothing but a quite pathetic rambling.

I have absolutely no clue how this wedding is going to come together by November given our VERY limited budget. When we first got engaged, we knew we'd want to keep the budget tight because we don't feel like it's necessary to spend tons to have an amazing wedding. However, as we started planning, we realized that we would still need to have at least $12,000 just to pull off a decent Savannah destination wedding for 75 guests, and that was PUSHING it. I mean, that's $15,000 UNDER the national average cost of a wedding.

So I got to work trying to figure out where this money would come from. We asked our parents if they would be willing to split the costs up evenly among all three parties instead of the traditional "bride's side pays for this, groom's side pays for that" mentality. Both of us have single mothers (FMIL just paid for FSIL's December 2007 wedding and Mama Lab has been sucked dry by the economy and some of my siblings who don't want to grow up). This option was the fairest way to go about it for everyone. After discussing the budget with the 'rents, it was agreed: both moms and the couple (and by couple, I really mean just me since Mr. Lab bought my ring) would contribute around $4,000 each.

Thing is, I think the only one who may hold up their end of the deal is FMIL Lab. She's already taking care of the entire rehearsal dinner and the open bar at the reception. My poor mom (no pun intended) keeps running into financial setbacks so she has yet to give me any money in our nearly 6 months of engagement. As for my part? Well...

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It's even worse now because of my summer internships. Because I'm working at a news station, my hours are long and all over the place which means there's no time for even a part-time job. So the money I had originally planned to save over the summer is now non-existent. I've already spent about $3,000 on securing our ceremony & reception venues, a photographer, caterer, and save the dates (which arrived yesterday! yay!). So I've just about contributed my share. BUT, that money came mostly from leftover student loans. I know you fiscally responsible ones out there are cringing at the thought of using a student loan for a wedding, but it's one of my only options since I already live paycheck to paycheck. It would take at least another 5 years before Mr. Lab and I could pay for a wedding out of our own pockets, so we figured low-interest, subsidized loans were a better way to go compared to credit cards. I tried to pick up as many hours at work before leaving for the summer, but it's all going towards living expenses instead of wedding stuff now.

I fear that if my mom doesn't start helping soon, I'll be forced to use another student loan to help pay for her part. And if that happens, I won't have too much to blog about because I won't get that money until nearly September. And that's nerve-racking because it'll cut out 3 months of planning, creating, and reserving stuff for the wedding. If you've noticed, I've blogged about a lot of PLANS and not about actual purchases as it is already.

In anticipation of not having enough money as originally planned, I've been spending a lot of time finding ways to cut expenses. Here are some of the ways I'm doing this:

• Using an up & coming photographer. Savings: $2000
• Purchased the "digital negatives & printing rights" so I can print my own wedding albums. I'm also DIY our photo slideshow instead of relying on a photographer or videographer to do it for me. Savings: $1500
  
• Forgoing fresh florals and opting for mood lighting and fake flowers instead.
  
• Making my own centerpieces using bargain finds instead of buying or renting through a florist.
  
• Buying an "inspired by" gown instead of its designer counterpart. Savings: $3800
• Selling the gown I won from the Running of the Brides on Ebay to put towards other costs. Projected profit: $500
• Reusing a dress I own for my reception/after party dress. Projected savings: $150
  
• Borrowing as many items as possible from my friends' weddings. Like these candy jars. Projected savings $500
• Having my MOH's MIL make all the wedding jewelry.
• Using an iPod for the ceremony & cocktail hour music. Possibly for the reception as well (if we can find a reliable person to man it & the mic).
• Using an Etsy seller to create a digital design for invites or DIY.
• Mr. Lab's ring choice? Tungsten. Major savings.
• Contemplating a Publix or DIY wedding cake since I want a "homemade-style" cake to fit in with our theme.
  
• Doing a buffet instead of a seated dinner. Using a preferred vendor of our reception site to avoid a $500 fee.
  
• Using our reception site as a back up ceremony site in the case of inclement weather. This eliminates the need for renting a tent.
  
• Going a "mini-moon" instead of a honeymoon. Because the honeymoon is traditionally paid for by the groom's side, it freed up FMIL to help with the wedding itself. We're going on a "real" honeymoon on our 5th anniversary (hopefully).
• Total projected savings so far: $9000+
  

I'm sure I'll find more ways to "trim the fat" off the budget along the way and still have a lovely wedding. I mean check out these beauts all under $10K! But there are some things I don't want to compromise on (like our venues).

In the meantime, I'm reminding myself to stay grateful for the fact that I'm even having a wedding. I know a lot of people out there are wishing upon shooting stars that they could have even $5K, let alone $12K for a wedding! Or the people out there who aren't even able to have a wedding because of laws or war or any other number of factors.

I guess the rainy day and the fact that I haven't seen Mr. Lab for a week now is aiding my pity party. I just hope this funk doesn't last too long...

Is your wedding budget or money woes giving you the blues?

The Running of the Brides

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As I've already mentioned, I'm on a very tight budget for my wedding. I'm not even sure of the final budget number (I'm dreading the "how much can you help me" talk with my mom) but I have a working number in my head. It's going to come from left over loan money, lots of extra shifts at work, cutting back in everyday spending, selling stuff on Ebay, whatever Mom can give, and of course, Chris's family.

I prefer not to list the budget number until after the wedding, where I promise I will break down all the wedding costs one by one. And if any of you are REALLY wanting to know how much I'm spending, I'm sure that you'll be able to keep track with individual items as I book, reserve, and pay for them. But that would make you a borderline stalker. :P

With all that said, I will routinely list ways I'm planning on saving money during the planning/paying process. One of those ways is with the dress. I know a lot of girls would never dream of the dress being anything BUT the most important item on the budget. I'm not one of those girls. I'm willing to save on the dress to add to another area (photography!) on my wedding day. Brides wear their dresses for maybe 12 hours max and then never again.

Don't get me wrong. I definitely want a gorgeous gown that will illicit gasps & awes as I walk down the aisle. But I'm not willing to spend a lot on it. Period. This is where "The Running of the Brides" comes in. Once a year, select Filene's Basements hold an event where thousands of designer gowns are marked down drastically for brides-to-be. I'm fortunate enough to be living a little over an hour outside of Atlanta where one of these events are held. So can you guess what I'll be doing on March 20th this year?!?! My bridesmaids have already signed on to help take out anyone standing between me and my dream dress! Haha...but seriously, I'm sure Ashley might cut someone for me! ;)

I'll only have to take about $750 with me to the ROBs because they only sell dresses at 3 price points: $249, $499, and $699! They once had a $10,000 dress sell for $199 back in the day! So no matter what, I know I'll find my dream dress for an awesome deal.

The day before ROBs, my girls and I are going to have a sleepover so I can "drill" my mini army on what I want so they know what to grab. I'll also outfit my team with matching outfits so we get the full effect of the day (maybe the classic BM tank tops?). I've already had a style of dress in mind and I've even found a designer that carries a lot of those styles. I'll update later with more details on my dream wedding dress, but to hold you over here's an idea of what I'm wanting:

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Anyways, I ran across an awesome opportunity today regarding ROBs. AtlantaOccasions.com is hosting a contest where a bride can win a dress from the event and even have her team outfitted in matching outfits for free! I thought about not posting it here in a public forum (who wants to slim their chances), but I'll look at it as good karma. ;) If I make it to the finals, I'll be coming back to hit everyone up for votes!